Silence

Do you ever feel like no one's listening? Like maybe if you just spoke a little louder someone could hear you and then they'd listen? Well I've gotten to the point of shouting, and yet it's all the same. Those around me never listen. Those around me just don't care. So I've resolved, after losing my voice to those who don't care, to speak softly to whomever will listen. Those who throw away my whispers and my yells are the ones that I should learn to move on from. However, the ones, the few, that will listen to my whispers, who will turn around when I speak, those are the ones I want in my life always. So this is to those that have chosen to listen to the whisper. But also to those who have ignored my screams. Thank you, because in one way or another, you've shaped who I am and I am where I am in part because of you.

The only thing I wonder about now, the only thing I wish I understood is why I've continued for so long to scream right in front of you while you stare through me with a blank gaze, never returned, never acknowledging my presence, except once, or maybe twice. I'm hopeful I guess, and each of those moments brings my hope back to 100% only to watch it whittle back down to about 2% before I decide it's worth it to give up the screaming. You always catch that hope, and sometimes I wish you wouldn't. It's at about 50% right now, and decreasing quickly, but as I lose hope in you, would you let me? When I get down to the end of letting go, would you please, please, let me? Don't call me your sister, don't call me your friend, don't call me anything, truly, just let it be the end. You don't want to hear me and my heart is sick of crying. Let me just be done. Let me just let go. You no longer hold my heart, except for that one last string of hope.

As for those who'll hear my whispers. As for you who listen. I love you and I thank you that you're here. And though I may give it up and run back to those who won't even hear my screams, I pray you know you're the best part of me. Without you, there would be no me. I treat you like crap, I'm sure. I weigh my world on your shoulders, I know. And I see that now, and don't worry, I've decided to lighten the load. I'd love to listen to your whispers. I'd love to carry your burdens. I'd love to walk alongside you, so I may return your favor.