Thursday, January 7, 2010

Inspiration take 2

A friend asked tonight as a facebook status, "Where do you get your inspiration?" For some reason this caught my attention. My first thought surprised me. And I feel as though it just might surprise everyone. It's 2:45 in the morning and really I should be asleep, but I'm a college student. Lately I haven't been able to sleep. If I fell asleep now, it would be the earliest I've slept in weeks. School's starting next week and I need to figure out how to sleep. But this question just might help that. I haven't written anything creative in days, weeks, even months. At least not that I wasn't forced to (that's what I get for taking a creative writing class). I used to write poetry all the time. Paper was the only one I had to talk to when life was changing. Silence caused me to write. I haven't had a lot of silence lately, and I believe I've actually become afraid of silence. Why is silence so frightening you ask? Because in silence, you think. In silence, you dream. In silence, you hear everything you've been avoiding all day, all week, all month, all year. In silence, sometimes more comes out than you originally planned.

But that is why Silence is my inspiration. In silence, there is nothing. There is no motivation, no inspiration, no exasperation, no frustration. In silence there isn't even peace. In silence, there is only one thing. There is room to create whatever you want. Whatever you need. If you've seen Harry Potter or read the books, there's that one room, that changes to whatever the person needs. Well, that's what silence is for me. Inspiration is a difficult thing. I can't say that it comes from one place, or even one person. Inspiration comes in hearing nothing, saying nothing, thinking nothing, and only letting my heart flow out onto paper, fresh clean paper.

Many would think that silence is no inspiration at all. Music is, art is, friends, family, nature all are inspiration. But in that you are directed in one way. You see certain things that make up your mind for you. And maybe that is what inspiration is, but maybe it's not. Maybe inspiration is what comes to you through God, on the spur of the moment. Maybe it is what makes light shine in darkness.

Whatever inspiration is, I know that silence is mine. Silence can be peaceful when you need peace. It can be hope when you need something to hold on to. Scary when you need to be closer to God. Enlightening when you don't know what to see. Calm when chaos ensues your life. Lonely when you feel crowded. Comforting when you feel completely alone. A breath of fresh air when none can be found. Good news when you're scared of what's going on around you. Anxiety for excitement yet to come. Anticipation for another day. Awkwardness before a date. Unspoken love among family. The answer to a prayer. And of course...Inspiration for whatever needs to flow from your heart.

Silence is inspiration. At least, it is mine. So, my friend, there is your answer. What inspires you?