Peace

So do you ever feel such attachment to something that you don't even realize it until you've given it away? 

I have no regrets of giving the necklace away tonight. She needs God's peace tonight more than I do, but at the same time I bought it for myself so that I would be reminded of God's peace, and now I'm sad that I no longer have it. Something in me just had the urge to be selfless and give it away, but something else ached in me and ate at me telling me it didn't matter that much; she wouldn't even notice otherwise.

I hate the double life. I hate the twisted pain. I love her. And I love that I got to share His overwhelming peace with her, and I know that necklace is around a beautiful and worthy neck, but that small part of me it's overwhelmingly sad, without a slight of peace. Ironic isn't it? As if that necklace actually held His peace in my heart, though I've only owned it for about two weeks. 

But I know that He is holding her tonight in His loving arms and wrapping her in His flood of peace. And that's enough to be okay with letting go of something so trivial, something on this earth.