Epiphany

Woohoo, first post of August. =)

First off, Happy birthday to my mom!! =)

ok so the real thing here, the epiphany. I was thinking about this while I was hanging out with the boys, watching two of the cheesiest movies I've seen in a really long time. haha. Here's what I came up with:

I feel basically everyone's emotions around me, whether it's pain, excitement, nonchalance, whatever, I feel it just the way they do. I may not know why, but I feel it. (For all you APU people, yes this is the Empathy in me...number 1 strength...haha) It's hard because I feel the excitement when someone falls in love, but I don't get the end result of falling in love. At the same time, it has its upsides, I may feel someone's pain, but I won't have to deal with it for the rest of my life, the wound didn't leave a scar with me. But I feel it. So when you're scared to tell me something, I'm scared too. When you're trying your hardest to be sincere, worried I won't take it the right way, don't be worried, I know you're sincere. I've known this for a while, here's the epiphany part. 

I have so many crushes throughout the years...I rarely go some long amount of time without having a crush on a boy. You know when you have feelings for someone and you care about them so much that you just feel their sadness or their joy? Well I've realized why I have a crush on basically every guy I meet, because I feel everything. I care about everyone that I feel their sadness and their joy. And everything else in between. And as everyone else chalks it up to liking someone, I chalk it up to being a friend, or maybe that I have crushes on every guy I meet. 

So the problem now becomes, when will I know? If the way you and everyone else knows is because of those feelings, those caring tender feelings, how will I know? I have those feelings every day, with every one, how will I know that the right guy is the right guy? I mean it gives me hope that I don't have to be brokenhearted about every guy because most of them I would never want to really be with anyway, but what about that one guy that I will want to be with so much someday, I just really want to know, how will I know?

That scares me.

That's all.