Who Am I?

Just Be Me

I want to write
but I don't know
where to start

I want to sing
but I don't know
what to sing

I want to be
the world's hero
but I don't know
how to jump

I don't know
how to save a life
or how to give one up

I want to be
the best I can be
but where do I start
how can I
just be me?

I don't know who I am, or at least I didn't. I struggle with this issue of who I am in this world. And then I realized that I am not of this world and who am I is not a part of it. I am God's child, his beloved and I belong to Him. My life, my body, my words are his. My emotions, my mindset, my actions, they all belong to him. Without him I do not exist, I do not function.
I knew it, but I forgot that until this year, until this week. I don't know who I'm going to be, or what God even has planned for me in this life. All I know is that who I am today is a child sitting in His arms, relying solely on his strength and his love to get me through this day and the rest of my life, however long that might be.
I am not incompetent, nor am I a fake. I don't dress up and put on a fake smile, even though sometimes I do. Who I am is deeper than that. It's in my eyes, it's in my soul. It's in my writing most of all. It's a sick, twisted lie, a pathetic excuse for a human being. A messed up, screwed up worthless nothing. But that is why God loves me, and that is why God saved me. And in him I am truly free. In him, I am worth something. I am valued, and I am precious in his sight. I may be nothing to this world, but I am everything to him.
That's all I need to be.